Muscatine

I HATE WAL-MART

I've always hated Blockbuster
Starbucks, not quite so much
If I'm not boycotting at least 3 oil companies
I start to feel out of touch
      I wouldn't be seen near Nordstrom's or any such
      And I hate Wal-Mart

I don't like whips, I don't like chains
I don't go choppin up my neighbors' brains
      Don't really even like shopping
      except at the Flea Mart
      And I hate Wal-Mart

Now you may wonder, why all this fuss
If you don't like the plane, take the bus
Well I've found religion, and just between us
I hate Wal-Mart

If you didn't hear the story, here's how it is
Big company sells below cost
Drive mom and pop out of biz
Pretty soon all over the land
One big square store, identical brand
And that's why I hate Wal-Mart

Used to be you could drive around
Stop in at three or four towns
Encounter different sights and sounds
Different if not unique
Different accent, different smell
Different things to buy and sell
Now it's all Taco Bell
I hate Wal-Mart

Roads used to dip and wind
You drive slow, relax your mind
Never knew what you'd find
Round the next bend
Now the freeway goes so straight
It'd go right past the Pearly Gate
I don't feel human, I feel like freight
I hate Wal-Mart

I like to roam, I like to greet
Individuals on the street
You always know the one you meet is
One of a kind
But more and more they seem to be
Reflections of something on TV
When we're all alike, nobody's free
I hate Wal-Mart

I boycott Burger King
I boycott Newt Gingrich
I boycott everything which
I've seen advertised

I used to go out to dinner in a diner
Now they say fast food is finer
But it tastes like fell out of an airliner
It's enough to make you weep

I don't like board games
I don't like brand names
They make inflated claims
They're full of bleep
Everyone I meet is a high-tech dealer
Wants to sell me a digital potato peeler
And I don't like Garrison Keillor cause
He's so white

Turn on my radio dial
Like to hear something new once in a while
But it's the same old crap in a brand new style
It's audio rape
Still I try to pick and choose
Turn the dial but I always lose
They only play the worst rock and roll
And once in a while one little rhythm and blues
And that's why God made tape

Used to be we wore beads and bells
Sewed our own clothes in our own way
Now we all wear uniforms that say
Hard Rock Cafe
We're in a state of sartorial decay
That's why I hate Wal-Mart

If there's a pretty spot they'll pave it over
Put a cloverleaf over a four-leaf clover
Black paint on the White Cliffs of Dover
It never fails
Hope you like this song, thanks a bunch
I could go on, but I gotta go eat lunch
If you didn't like it, I've got a hunch
You work in sales

So grow your own, make your own
Be careful what you own
Develop non-shopping to an art
And whatever you do
Don't shop at Wal-Mart

Sisters of Swing, backup vocals
Bob Pearce, mandolin
Pat Balcom, drums

new labor-related verses since the recording:

They tell their suppliers to buy overseas
That's even better than a wage freeze
We're one big happy family
No unions allowed, this enterprise is free
It's worker-free, we're all associates now, see?
I guess that means it's our Wal-Mart

They say we buy American whenever we can
We buy at home right here in Saipan
Worst of all every other store
Has to follow suit if they wanta sell more
But I don't want to follow suit, see
Let's get it over with, just shoot me
God bless Wal-Mart

Brought 6,000 jobs back to South Carolina
For a whole 6 months, then sent 'em back to China
Where they work 12 hours on Easter and Earth Day
But they let em off for their seventh birthday
But the shift don't seem so long
As long as they're singing the company song
Which ain't I hate Wal-Mart

So grow your own, make your own
Grow a union, don't be alone
And maybe some day we'll get overtime pay
from Wal-mart

Such hate......... Wish you well old timer.

Peace

Wal mart song

Somebody once told me, "The world can just go by me
if they think I'll work for minimum wage."
He was livin' with his mom and a-goin to the prom
and he was almost twenty-five years of age.

Well
He can't find a job but he says he's lookin'
He won't do cleanin' and he won't do cookin'
Didn't make grades when he was in school
Won't wear a uniform cuz that ain't cool

So much to do, so much to see
So many beers before he has to go pee
He always throws up on the flo
He always whines that he is po

Hey now
Work at Wal-mart
Stock the shelves there
all day
Hey now
Where's the Pop-tarts?
Where's the watch band
display?
And all them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

It's a cool place so it's nice in the summer
Ain't no insurance and that is a bummer
And the union men all get fired
They don't wanna pay your a$$ when you're retired

The stuff we sell is gettin pretty old
Rotate that product so they all will get sold
Here's a curling iron; here's a nail file
And we're selling rifles in the very next aisle

Hey now
We're at Wal-mart
need a haircut
to-day
Hey now
Buy a Zagnut
in the checkout
Go pay
All them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

Somebody once asked, "Do you have a hockey mask?
And while you're at it, can you change my oil?"
And I said , "Nope. I'm a big dope.
Workin' on a car I don't have no hope.
I guess we all been a little spoiled."

Well
I can't stop goin and I won't stop goin'
Open all night even when it is snowin'
Doesn't make sense to support the small guys
They may have charm but they don't have fries

So much to browse, so much to buy
So what's wrong with helping the big guy?
Oh can't you see that we are free?
You always whine it should not be

Hey now
Shop at Wal-mart
Get a game boy
Go play
Right there
in your backyard
It's a Wal-mart
hoo-ray
And all them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told

All them greeters are old
Hold these shopping carts like they're told....

AW C'MON PEOPLE. BASHING WAL MART GETS SO MANY RESPONSES, IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO LET THE THREAD DIE. LET'S KEEP UP THE FUN.