Muscatine

Well, then,

you should like this one, too.

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She
> was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching,
> so she placed an ad in the
>
> Newspaper for a ranch hand.
> Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
> She thought long and hard about it, and when
>
> No one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would
> be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
>
> He proved to be a hard worker who put in long
>
> Hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
> For weeks the two of them worked hard and
>
> The ranch was doing very well.
> Then one day, the rancher's widow said ''You have done a really good job,
> and the ranch
>
> Looks great. You should go into town and kick
> Up your heels.''
> The hired hand readily agreed and went into
>
> Town on Saturday night.
> He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the
> rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting
> for him.
> She quietly called him over to her.
> ''Unbutton my blouse and take it off,'' she said. Trembling, he did as she
> directed.
>
> ''Now take off my boots.'' He did as she asked,
>
> Ever so slowly.
> ''Now take off my socks.'' He removed each gently and placed them neatly
> by her boots.
>
> ''Now take off my skirt.''
>
> He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.
> ''Now take off my bra.'' Again, with trembling
>
> Hands did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
> Then she looked at him and said: ''If you ever
> Wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!''

Okay,

think I've just about run out of funny e-mails, but here is one more.

*A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She
presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb
and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. **It's hard to
believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may
surprise you. &nb sp;While reading, keep in mind that these are
first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic! *


*1.*

Don't change horses

Until they stop running.

*2.*

Strike while the

Bug is close.

*3.*

It's always darkest before

Daylight Saving Time.

*4.*

Never underestimate the power of

Termites.

*5.*

You can lead a horse to water but

How?

*6.*

Don't bite the hand that

Looks dirty.

*7.*

No news is

impossible

*8.*

A miss is as good as a

Mr.

*9.*

You can't teach an old dog new

Math

*10.*

If you lie down with dogs, you'll

Stink in the morning.

*11.*

Love all, trust

Me.

*12.*

The pen is mightier than the

Pigs.

*13.*

An idle mind is

The best way to relax .

*14.*

Where there's smoke there's

Pollution

*15.*

Happy the bride who

Gets all the presents.

*16.*

A penny saved is

Not much.

*17.*

Two's company, three's

The Musketeers.

*18.*

Don't put off till tomorrow what

You put on to go to bed.

*19.*

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and

You have to blow your nose.

*20.*

There are none so blind as

Stevie Wonder.

*21.** *

Children should be seen and not

Spanked or grounded.

*22.*

If at first you don't succeed

Get new batteries.

*23.*

You get out of something only what you


See in the picture on the box

*24.*

When the blind lead the blind

Get out of the way.

*25.*

A bird in the hand

Is going to poop on you.
*
And the WINNER and last one!*
*26.*
Better late than
Pregnant