I was a clumsy, obnoxious kid with a preference for putting cheese in my socks.

I graduated Muscatine High School with honors  -  "Cumma no Dumma."

I once owned a toy store but just played with the profits.

I enjoy writing and saying very stupid things.

I am addicted to eating (do it everyday)

I pee mostly standing up.

My worst nightmare is sitting on the toilet only to find out there is no toilet paper then having to walk to Kum & Go with my pants down around my ankles to get some.