Muscatine

"I'm divorcing my wife" Peter told his mates at the pub. "She has disgusting habits. I went to pee in the sink this morning, and it was still full of dirty dishes from yesterday."

Jill went to the bank and applied for a loan. "I want a loan, I'm going to divorce my husband."
"Oh, we don't give loans for divorces" the manager says, "We make loans for appliances, automobiles, businesses, home improvements...."
Jill interrupts and says, "Well, this is certainly a 'Home Improvement."

Half of all marriages end in divorce.
That's not as bad as it sounds. The other half ended in death."

These days, parents pray the youngest child will get married and move out before the oldest one gets divorced and moves back in.

Jack is telling his friends about his recent divorce.
"Yeah, she divorced me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I didn't have any."