I know I have not been a good neighbor lately but I have had some things to deal with and still do. I have noticed, however, that there seems to be a lack of humor in the neighborhood lately so I will offer these two; one political and one religious.
Rember VOTE, VOTE, VOTE, err, I mean vote just once. Have a good day everyone.
Little Mary Pat had a box of very small kittens that she was trying
to give away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign
'FREE KITTENS' next to them.
Suddenly a big line of big black cars came up with a policeman on a
motorcycle in front. The cars all stopped and a tall man stepped out
from the biggest car. It's Senator Obama.
"Hi, little girl, what do you have there in the box?" he asked.
"Kittens," Little Mary Pat says. "They're so small, their eyes are
not even open yet."
"What kind of kittens are they?" he asked.
"Democrats," says Little Mary Pat.
The tall man smiled, returned to his car and they drove away.
Sensing a good photo opportunity, Sen. Obama called his campaign
manager and told him about the little girl and the kittens. It was
planned that they would return the next day, have all the media
there and tell everyone about these great kittens.
The next day, Little Mary Pat is standing out on the corner with
her box of kittens with the 'FREE KITTENS' sign and the big
motorcade of black cars pulled up with all the vans and trucks
from ABC, NBC, CBS, BET and CNN, but no FOX for some reason.
Everyone had their cameras ready and then, Sen. Obama got out of
his limo and walked up to Little Mary Pat.
"Now, don't be frightened," he said. "I just want you to tell
all these nice news people just what kind of kittens you're
giving away today."
"Yes sir," Mary Pat said. "They are all REPUBLICAN kittens."
Taken by surprise, Sen. Obama said, "But yesterday, you told me
that they were DEMOCRATS."
Little Mary Pat says, "Yes, I know. But today, they have their eyes
open."
A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was
very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a
small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their
clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while
enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who
should come along but a group of ladies from town.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest
covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran
for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the
minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face
rather than his privates.
The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation,
its my face they would recognize."
