Mens Rules.
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are the rules.
1) Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.
2)Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining when you leave it down.
3)Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing tides. Let it be.
4)No, shopping is not a sport. And no we are never gonna think of it that way.
5)Cying is blackmail
6)Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Obvious hints don't work. Just say it.
7)Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to most questions.
8)Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.
9)A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
10)Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11)If you think you are fat you probably are. Don't ask us.
12)If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
13)You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
14)Whenever possible say whatever you have to say during commercials.
15)Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
16)All men see in only 16 colours like Windows default setting. Peach for example is a fruit not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
17)If it itches it will be scratched. We do that.
18)If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know your lying but it is just not worth the effort.
19)If you ask a question you don't want an answer for, expect an answer you don't wanna hear.
20)When we have to go somewhere absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
21)You have enough clothes.
22)You have too many shoes.
