Muscatine

On a flight to Sydney, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing
is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.

They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane

Then a farmer from Australia stands up in the rear of the plane.

He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.

One button at a time........ No one moves.................. He removes his shirt..............
Tanned muscles ripple across his chest.......... She gasps...................

He whispers................. "Iron this...then get me a beer."

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the
Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that
maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take
a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling
and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde ) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb,
so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me
a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and
asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and
recuperate for a couple of days.'

I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my
co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
'..And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're gonna love this....)


She said, "I'm going home, too. I can 't work in the
dark." _________________________