Muscatine

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."   You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.




And furthermore




HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
" BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is
"HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."


3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
"LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."


4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a
"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."


5. She does not "NAG " you - She becomes
"VERBALLY REPETITIVE."


6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a
"LOW COST PROVIDER."



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1.    He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a                                   "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY." 
             

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is
"OVERLY CAUCASIAN."


4.         He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
"INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."


5. He is not "BALDING" - He is in
"FOLLICLE REGRESSION."


7. He does not act like a "TOTAL  ASS" - He develops a case
of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."


8. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - it's
"REAR CLEAVAGE." (This, regretably, could apply to some young ladies these days, too.)

what a lou, lou, tlou!!! Kind of risque' for you!!!! adieu, tlou...........:-)

hmmmm, I went from a Mentor to a RespecTED neighbor. Someone must have seen my profile on the America's "Least" WanTED  tonight...

  HEY LINLOU!  I was waiting for another of your jokes & BOY DID YOU DELIVER!  This was AWESOME!  NEIGBORHOOD LINK LISTENED!    AWWWW...  (thanks guys)!  I love it!  I'm so happy right now, it doesn't take much to make me happy!  SEE?  

  LOL!  TY, TY, TY.  "HEY GUYS WE ARE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!

  Linlou, I'm meeting up with some friends Sunday to go see the Buddy Holly show at Citca 21.  I printed out your joke to share w/ them because I know they will enjoy it!  Thanks so much & KEEP THEM COMING!     I'm terrible @ telling jokes...you have a gift girl! 

  Fyi2, don't worry about your "label" for now.  You may need to answer to a few of your past posts & intentions for now? If so, you gotta be real & hear the person & respond appropriately.  Jokes are ok sometimes, but not if you have hurt someone.    Put yourself in the other posters shoes.  Think, "if I read what I just typed, what would I think & feel? Would I be hurt, angry or agree"?  Does this make sense?   

   I know you have it in you to aspire to get that "mentor" label back!    I'm rooting for you!  You have a kind soul, fyi2, just let it show!  A label means nothing; it's an external visual.  What do you see when you look in your mirror?  Are you proud of that person?  Are you the kind of friend to others that you wish that you had?  What do you HONESTLY FEEL IN YOUR HEART?  It really is that simple.   It really is!    Still friends?