This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ''Termination without Cause.''
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: ''Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?''
Caller: ''Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .''
Operator: ''What sort of trouble??''
Caller: ''Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.''
Operator: ''Went away?''
Caller: ''They disappeared''
Operator: ''Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?''
Caller: ''Nothing.''
Operator: ''Nothing??''
Caller: ''It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.''
Operator: ''Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??''
Caller: ''How do I tell?''
Operator: ''Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??''
Caller: ''What's a sea-prompt?''
Operator: ''Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?''
Caller: ''There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.''
Operator: ''Does your monitor have a power indicator??''
Caller: ''What's a monitor?''
Operator: ''It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??''
Caller: ''I don't know.''
Operator: ''Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??''
Caller: ''Yes, I think so.''
Operator: ''Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: ''Yes, it is.''
Operator: ''When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??''
Caller: ''No.''
Operator: ''Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.''
Caller: ''Okay, here it is.''
Operator: ''Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.''
Caller: ''I can't reach.''
Operator: ''OK. Well, can you see if it is??''
Caller: ''No.''
Operator: ''Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??''
Caller: ''Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.''
Operator: ''Dark??''
Caller: ''Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.''
Operator: ''Well, turn on the office light then.''
Caller: ''I can't.''
Operator: ''No? Why not??''
Caller: ''Because there's a power failure.''
Operator: ''A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??''
Caller: ''Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.''
Operator: ''Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack I t up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.''
Caller: ''Really? Is it that bad?''
Operator: ''Yes, I'm afraid it is.''
Caller: ''Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??''
Operator: ''Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!''
