|
R.A.I.N. Eastchester Senior Center Newsletter 11-4-2004 LAUGHTER--THE BEST MEDICINE! By Edythe Weber TRUE DOCTOR'S STORIES 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there are several cabs and I was in the wrong one! 2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stehoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes' they used to be," remorsed the patient. 3. One day, I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarction. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he died of a "massive internal fart." 4. While acquainting myself with a new patient, I asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion, she answered, "Why, not for about 20 years--when my husband was alive." 5. I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how is your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," she replied. I asled her to show me the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." 6. "I'm always relieved when someone delivers a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it." --George Carlin 7. "Comedy is acting out optimism." --Robin Williams All this is contributed by Edythe Weber from POST SCRIPTS, The Saturday Evening Post, September/October, 2006 © 1997,1998,1999 E.Central, Inc. |