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Metro New York Clubs & Organizations R.A.I.N. Eastchester Senior Center Newsletter 1-7-2008 LIBRARY NOTES By Phyllis Brandt LIBRARY NOTES All of us, whether English is our Mother Tongue or not, have a problem with the rules of grammar of the language. It's like no other language; and sometimes I find myself frustrated trying to figure out how to approach it without going crazy. One gentleman (or is it gentlewoman?) decided not to worry about it but instead to accept it, and wrote a toast to our beloved, albeit confusing, English language. (It was sent in anonymously--who could blame heim, or, her?) Here, then, is his, or is it hers, toast (see what I mean?): A TOAST TO THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE We'll begin with a BOX And the plural is BOXES, But the plural of OX Is oxen, not OXES. Then one fowl is a GOOSE. But two are called GEESE. Yet the plural of MOOSE Would never be MEESE. You may find a lone MOUSE Or a whole nest of MICE But the plural of HOUSE Is HOUSES, not HICE. If the plural of MAN Is always called MEN Would the plural of PAN Then be called PEN? If I speak of a FOOT And you show me your FEET And I give you a BOOT Would a pair be called BEET? If one is a TOOTH and A whole set are TEETH, Should the plural of BOOTH Then be called BEETH? Then, one may be THAT And three would be THOSE Yet the plural of HAT Would never be HOSE. We speak of one BROTHER And also of BRETHREN, Yet though we say MOTHER We would never say METHREN. Then the masculine pronouns Are HE, HIS and HIM. But imagine the feminine SHE, SHIS and SHIM! So, English, I fancy You all will agree, Is the funniest language You ever did see! Until next month! Phyllis Brandt, Librarian Neighborhood Link Terms of Use © 1997,1998,1999 E.Central, Inc.